I want to address the popular mindset: “If it’s meant to be, it will be.” Many people apply this philosophy to relationships, but you rarely—if ever—see a successful business owner adopt this thinking when it comes to business success. More likely, a business owner lives by the belief: “If it’s meant to be, then it’s up to me.” In my opinion, this same mindset should also be applied to relationships.
While I do believe there’s a deeper spiritual meaning behind the people who come into our lives, I also believe life is about learning—and learning is meant to inspire action. We live in a universe governed by cause and effect. That means results are driven by action, not passive beliefs. When someone truly believes in something, their actions reflect that belief. Without action, belief becomes nothing more than wishful thinking—and the universe doesn’t respond to wishes; it responds to energy, effort, and motion. The knowing is in the doing.
We all understand that relationships require work. That’s why the “if it’s meant to be, it will be” mentality can be so problematic—it shifts responsibility to fate, God, the universe, or whatever higher force a person happens to believe in. While comforting, this mindset can prevent people from fully owning their actions and the results that come from them. It often carries an energy of passivity and may serve as a convenient excuse or lead to inaction. It sounds spiritual and feels reassuring, but in reality, it can be a trap. It’s a mindset that often sabotages relationships—and certainly doesn’t lead to success in business either. It’s not how we survive, and it’s definitely not how we thrive.
That said, there is a kernel of wisdom in this saying. Take the example of a farmer. After planting seeds for the season, the farmer must have patience and faith in nature’s process. He can’t force the seeds to grow, control the weather, or dictate every aspect of the natural world. There are elements outside of his control—and that is where the wisdom in the saying lies.
However, many people overuse this phrase to the point that they give up much of their personal power. Even in the farmer’s case, before any seeds go into the ground, there’s a tremendous amount of preparation required: tilling the soil, removing last season’s crops, pulling weeds, aerating and fertilizing the land. The farmer must choose the right environment, the proper time of year, account for historical weather patterns, and select the right type of crop. Once planted, he must water them consistently, fight off pests, manage wind and water drainage, and harvest them properly.
This may all sound obvious—but ask yourself honestly: to what extent do you live by “If it’s meant to be, it will be,” versus “If it’s meant to be, then it’s up to me”? Which belief system do you think yields better results?
Sometimes, the excuses embedded in our belief systems operate unconsciously. The goal of this article is to bring those to the surface. We believe in self-empowerment—and that begins with taking full ownership of our lives. A far more powerful belief is: “If it’s meant to be, then it’s up to me.”
So, what actions or decisions can you take today to improve your relationships—or your business?
